The second-hand truth really is stranger than fiction. TW: @rowanmangan Okay. Its what he likes. Rowan Mangan: And were like, How do people do this with two? Oh my God. I just realized that the mother bear, her ego might also be invested in, The bears cant do it for themselves. Matt speaks directly from his heart about life wisdoms coming from experience and deep thought. Good Lord, I heard so many stories, not just in Mormonism, of couples going to a family therapist and saying, Hes fine, but shes exhausted. Yeah. And you can go like write as many things as you can, until you get to something you dont want to do and then ask yourself, do you really have to do it? I didnt know. Like I know from watching my kids, I have two, a non-binary child and a daughter and theyve both found amazing partners. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. So anyway, back to the baby. The hilarious moment Martha, Karen, and Rowan told their friends they were now a throuple.</p><p>4. This isnt just me. It shows you where oh, okay. People judge us for this too, because hes 30 something. So either one, maybe one could be the subtitle, but. Host Kelsey McKinney discusses reader-submitted comedic gossip with guests, diving into the lives and decisions of complete strangers. Its interesting because, you, at a certain point in your life were a caregiver for someone with paralysis, yeah? And we shouldnt presume to speak for anyone other than ourselves because it is circumstance for us. And you said Martha, because didnt you say this about Karen too. So I was interviewing women and one of them said she went to her religious authority and she said, My family makes me do everything for them. Get off whatever web is causing you to over help and under care for yourself. Rowan Mangan: Yeah. Exactly. And Ill never forget. Ive said previously that we believe that the sperm donor for Rows IVF procedure was Zeus. So I hope, thats always my aspiration for how I show up with Rows parents, but theyre so great, theyre just so great. The mother bear will not do for any other bear what that bear can do for itself. And one close to our hearts. And that was sort of the model of virtuous motherhood. So thats one clue. And thats why you were being codependent when you refused to give me a direct answer. And they were both pretty amazing about the prospect of having another tiny person to look after. Do you like blue cheese? One can never tell one, when confronted with a question like that, unprepared. 2. And we have our evening too if theres no soccer that everybody sits down together and its family time. Podcast with her wife Martha Beck, she also runs the Wild Adventures newsletter and community on Substack. Well, my son is because he has down syndrome. And then the people down lower in the power structure expect to be treated badly, expect to have to do things for others with no particular reward. Right. They found in the 80s when men were trying to step up and help more with housework, that a lot of the wives, when they would do studies on households, would shame and basically belittle and attack the husbands for doing the housework wrong. The hilarious moment Martha, Karen, and Rowan told their friends they were now a throuple. And for me, the soul is genderless. Yes. But another clue is that you start to feel exhausted with other people and you have to go up away by yourself to regain the energy that youve expended taking care of other people. Who can guess the major setting for the, "The cultural imperative to adhere to certain soci, I wrote myself some rules to help me get to the wa, "Do you find that you enjoy setting goals but have, New Substack newsletter this week. You know thats what theyre all thinking. And I was like, but nothing happened. Because when Abby and I fell in love, and decided we were going to be together, we were scared. I know. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices. This time the question comes from Ohio listener Bev, who hopes to learn more about codependencywhat it means and how it applies to her life as a mother and caregiver. Rowan Mangan: And to me, rediscovering the feeling of a village around the fire, we have a little village in our house and we could not do with one person less, it would just be so much sadder. Why do you always use me? Thats not healthy either, and Ive tried to do a lot less of it in recent decades. Rowan Mangan: [Music fades] Hi, Im Martha Beck! So with our podcast bewildered and its Were always about like, wheres the culture here? A huge lesson for couples based on the revolutionary ways they deal with conflict, jealousy, and . Then I left Mormonism and started practicing polygamy. But now what they really discovered was that codependency is the way people typically act when theyre around an addict that they love. Get there some way, because life is hell. And its always a fear of scarcity. So that everything that feels natural to them is normal, and in every way, and they want to do accounting or I dont know good examples but like And then it must be so hard to understand people. The Chalene Show | Diet, Fitness & Life Balance. Part of Audacy. Well, you two are amazing. And Rows like, I dont even care anymore. Were all outnumbered. And then we continue. As the Wagners await four back-to-back capital murder trials, the KT Studios team revisits Pike County to examine: crime-scene forensics, upcoming legal proceedings, and the ties that bind the victims and the accused. * Martha recalls learning Chinese with some unhappy Russians, * Extended metaphors and exploding doormats. What do we do? Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices, Normal Gossip delivers juicy, strange, funny, and utterly banal gossip about people youll never know and never meet. Im going to go get Thai food. And left. How Martha felt after years of marriage to Karen when Karen told her she was in love with Rowan.3. I honestly, I said, this whole thing is spirit. How Martha felt after years of marriage to Karen when Karen told her she was in love with Rowan, too. Rowan Mangan: But its like youve got a pillow smashed against your face, first protest weakly, and then your survival skills will kick, your survival instincts. Exactly, me too. We didnt really have a lot of language about it or knowledge of how that other people did this and how they might do it. You can follow us to get updates, hear funny snippets and outtakes, and chat with other fans of the show. Youre very right that that works only in situations where people dont feel entitled. Rowan Mangan: Rowan Mangan: Okay. And we also are a ecosystem that is very close and so we do talk about how the hell do people do it with two people. But the fly is participating in its own. Its just your way of love. A huge lesson for couples based on the revolutionary ways they deal with conflict, jealousy, and daily rituals to stay close. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah Winfrey has called her one of the smartest women I know. Her newest book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller. This website uses Google Analytics to collect anonymous information such as the number of visitors to the site, and the most popular pages. And it said, Id like to come down, could you please be my mother? And she was just sobbing. I cant tell lies or keep secrets and nothing weird can happen because I would have to tell the entire world about it. Like, its optional. But let me tell you a little bit about growing up Mormon. And like they ask really inappropriate questions and things that heterosexual couples never have to deal with. Someday Ill film the whole thing, but Im not going to be able to get her to do that again, because her will is stronger than all of ours. Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan: Polyamory & Throuple Life, Similar to We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle. Our impact in communities across Australia comes down to the amazing support of over 3,000 dedicated volunteers, who in the last year donated over 78,000 hours of their precious time. Show We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle, Ep Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan: Polyamory & Throuple Life - 10 Aug 2022. Yeah. And I think that its quite a different thing for many people in the way that they want to love. In this episode, Marty and I dissect the ways we can be shamed and how we can move away from that into what feels true for ourselves. So its just time to be together. I think at the moment, its probably parenting stuff. And we actually talked about this before we went on and we were like, oh, what do we do? She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah Winfrey has called her one of the smartest women I know. Her newest book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller.TW: @TheMarthaBeckIG: @themarthabeckAbout Rowan:Rowan Mangan is a writer, podcaster and mom to a vivacious toddler. Rowan Mangan: Rowan Mangan is a writer, podcaster, and mom to a vivacious toddler, Salty Clexy and Ozzy. Yeah. Martha Beck: So she raised up on her hind legs as we walk into the room and hear this conversation and she goes, Well, I love Rowan and I love Marty. And some cuddles while we watch television. Friendships, even professional relationships. So then she finally came out to her mother and she said, Were all in a relationship. Her mothers like, So you dont have to tiptoe around the house.. Anyway, they give you clues that youre not doing it right. Rowan Mangan is a writer, podcaster and mom to a vivacious toddler. I made you six different kinds of blue cheese and you dont like any of them? So you project what they want and need. And this kid is just the absolute, I mean, all kids are right, but we didnt have anything to do except sit in the house and avoid COVID. So then we came and we did IVF. We rehearsed it. So when you get into those arguments that couples have over and over, it breaks the pattern. And for me, its spirit, right? This double date is a first for us because We Can Do Hard Things listeners, Martha and Rowan are missing one person, who is Karen, because Martha and Rowan and Karen are in a polyamorous relationship. I want to ask you about something, which Ive been thinking, which is jealousy. Theres the clues from other people. So for Karen and me, because wed done all this and because, like we really were the ones who had all the advantages, like the solid couple and it was a weird situation for all of us. From the "rubber time" of non-Western cultures, to the experience of "premembering" events that haven't happened yet, to Einstein's theory that time is just an illusion, Martha and Ro cover it all. I know this is a physiological effect of adoption and early trauma. Rowan Mangan: Rowan Mangan: . Dr. Martha Beck is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. Martha Beck: Yeah. And on this radio program, people would send in stories of the mother or wife in their family who is so depleted by constant care taking, she goes to all the soup kitchens and makes soup all day long, and then she comes home and she makes soup for us. She holds three Harvard degrees-. Martha Beck: I think in what were talking about in our marriage and with your life and the way that youre loving, its just I really think that that might be the only way. But Im recognizing more and more their entitled behaviour and how I have played into it in my guilt over not being their biological mom and having taken them from the country of their birth. And shes on all kinds of hormonal treatments for the bedbug bites themselves, plus she got a really bad hair dye job where they ruined her eyebrows and made her cry. Its a way of love. Thats how bad they were about it. And I was like, No, we have to have a group thread and youve got to call me sometimes and youve got to tell me that your day is going fine because I was really scared that they were the unit and I was the third wheel coming in. And that was really scary to me because it didnt feel solid. Like we feel very connected in a family way. So, yeah. I have a favor to ask.