Wellnow that I think about itaccording to my theory, ALL conspiracies are real and mislabled "paranoid" people are really the only ones who see the truth. Happy? 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. It was one of my friends. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myselfI'm gonna quit for today. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. This sentence is the longest. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". I'm back again. I'm back. It's a time honored tradition. If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). You give to me? Oooo! When you're in space (without a space suit) you don't SUFFUCATE, you don't FREEZE. Seeya! I'll rant and rave and ramble about the EVILS of sunlight. I was looking forward to having A elective, while everyone else was enjoying three or fouror even more. Haha, oops. consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) It's the same concept. But the point is, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a random mineral, I could read the ingredients and not eat the salt. It was sad. It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)noI was forced to wear formal attire. You're only browsing it. I wonder why anyone would read this? It must have cost a fortune to feednot to mention the mess. Are you ready? I'm like the little engine that could. I'm gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! The best way to be brief is to quit now. The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it sure is funny:) You don't agree? If so, I guess I won't be writing here for quite awhileseeya. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. Otherwise you'd think I was delusional, or something. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. Follow him at@jdmagness, by Josh Jones | Permalink | Comments (30) |. Ooooo! that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. Just like thos so called "diet supplements" that give you a "free" sample because they know that once you try it, you'll like it so much you'll spend oodles of cash on it. Outside your body. I love my calculator, though. Especially the part about the biscuits and cheese. And they pushed my toes together. I'm back. I have no problem with Lit. Who'da thought it? It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Here's what I wrote this weekend: Woooooo! Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Well. You'll wear these "festive" earings for about a day and then abandon them in some dark cranny of your closet because you simply can't wear the same earrings two years in a row for heaven's sake! The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Big Brother may be listening right now so I beter go. Then I realized that the buldozer already HAD been invented. We never spam. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. Since all that nifty air isn't pressin' on you, your guts and stuff are free to go wherever they want, and the EVIL little things decide to roam around. I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. Of course, you won't want to do that becuase you still need more earrings so people won't think you wear the same ones over and over again. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! Now, correct me if I'm wrongbut Iraq? The Longest Story in The World. Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! I can usually fall back asleep (if I don't panic and think I'm late for school), but the stupid thing wakes me up again exactly seven hours after I originally fell asleep. Is fat-free food more delicious than food loaded with fat? This has been my hourly Public Service Announcement that I only do when I feel like it. Oh, well. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. However . Sometimes I crack myself up. The only difference is the taste, which I enjoy, since it is new and different. I better go. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. Just how much time do they have on their hands. I thought it was sadand normal. In any caseit's awful. One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm backand it's several hours later. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. Now, wasn't that entertainment. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Which would be boring. I then copied and pasted the German and put it in the text box. Spooky, huh? BRINGING $#$$# KIDS IN A BAR!? Were also on Pinterest, Tumblr, and Flipboard. But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. I need to find a topic. For all you know, you could be halucinating my entire site! Or, would that be good? ALWAYS. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. So. In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. ONly not really. The majority of readers would concur that it sometimes takes more than one reading to fully understand an extremely long sentence in a book. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. Ooooothats a great idea! Maybe we're just really, really tired and had sugar. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! Today, in my (Honors) English class, we did group work. No? The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. Please find all options here. But how, may I ask, can you find the end of the FREAKIN' universe? I'm back. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) Since then, hundreds of authors have been inspired by the experimental writers sentence structure, including James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Samuel Beckett, and other modern literature greats. But for now I can only dream of that. To Cheese Nips. Pathetic, wasn't it? Seeya. These cookies do not store any personal information. But one of my classes is work, and two others are horrible year-round classes. VisitMy Modern Met Media. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! Seeya! Anyway, gotta go! I think. You're still here. I also am psyco-analyzing myself a lot todayhmmmmI'm even saying "hmmmmm" a lot. I salute those people. So if you have an infinite number of people, some are going to have entire books of coherent stuff. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. Yeah. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. Then, some fasion bimbo went on a fasionable safarii to get some fasionable furs, or whatever. There's even a money back guarantee. Here is the sum total of my group's work. Obviously I at least have a computerso, back to the organ grinders. Here I am, trying to get a decent nights sleep and there's this green light that periodically blinks to red directly in front of me. 189,819 Letters Yes, that number is correct. Yeah. That's why I like fast-food salt. (No, I don't like any of those creepy "pop" stars. afterwardsthey turned off the lights. Though the record has been broken, Faulkner's legacy lives on. That's what they need to do with the water. I'm tired. I's making fake soundtracks like the teacher told me! When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. What an eccentric idea! I can't think of anything!? The last day, we were deciding where to eat. Either I am growing more comfortable with my on-line writing, or I am progressivly getting more insane and chaotic. I don't want to be in this messI'm going to bed. Its in the mail, I promise! Nowjust stop a second and contemplate that. After all, how can I be self derisive, and full of low expectations for this site if I KNOW people are hereseveral thousand of them in fact, in just a few months. Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Next to the Really Big Button, of course. if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! We'd probably go crazier. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup? Right now, I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch T.V. Or whatever. What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) Yeah, I know, regular schedule schools do that. And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) SoNeo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! I'm back. I mean, don't you think the creators of Cheese-Nips had a box of Cheez-Its out when they were designing their product? my dear theres nothing to fear thats only a box thats made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking its your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. Just like a real psychologist. Like a division of mounties made entirely out of monks. I'm back. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkner 's 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. So my dad picked a steak place. This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published (2020), by humor writer Dave Cowen, consists of one sentence that runs for 111,111 words, and is a stream of consciousness memoir. You would be correct in your suspiciousnessfor Mooses arch-enemy is*dramatic drumroll*a small, white, feather. *sighs dramatically* I'm back. Okay. *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. How could you? HmmmI seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what I wrote. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. The first use of "had had" is a modifier, and the second instance serves as the main verb of the sentence. What, is there a giant sign saying, "DEAD END"? Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. I sure am. And now, back to our featured presentation. I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. Is your school playground a gateay to the underworld? But, whatever. That's not fair! Hits all right. Lots of people spoke. I said "The Union fought" With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" At least it fills up my word quota for the day. This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. *nods* Well, yeahI KNOW I'm actually typing instead of talking. I worked for four hours at the "Library of Terror" sponsered by TAB. In other news, I participated in the Second Battle of the Asparagus Wars and chronicled them here. I was contemplating how my heavy load of books made me like a bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend, "Meg" that we invent one. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. who keeps asking if you can hear him. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. That dirty little rat. That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary schooluhexcept for that head-explouding part). Plus, boxes are more convient than bags. I SEE YOUR GAME! A copy of "Ulysses" pops up in "Green Coaster," the 33-page, single-sentence . Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. The longest sentence in the world is currently being served by Charles Scott Robinson, who is serving a sentence of life without parole in the United States. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. Then I completly understand. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. And then I'll be writing for me again. I was almost completly covered in (fake) bloodit was sticky toward the end. I get home from work at 5:30p.m. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. WellI DO have a special treat for you weirdos who apparantly like wasting time! This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. Now I must take my leaveand remember. Celebrating creativity and promoting a positive culture by spotlighting the best sides of humanityfrom the lighthearted and fun to the thought-provoking and enlightening. Originally from Northern Ireland, she is an artist now based in Berlin. I'll only say that it was the first game you could "talk" to and was the first (and only) N64 virtual pet. I made a virtual pet for it. You can just picture sterotypical pirates saying, "A vast ye mateys!". Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". There was something else I had to tell you loyal *cricket chirps, someone coughs* fans. "a pokemon game. I wonder what it's name would be. Do you know story about the longest story in the world? So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta goseeya later! Wellany wayseeya! "[4], Last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26, An Accommodating Advertisement and an Awkward Accident, "Toward a Connectionist Model of Recursion in Human Linguistic Performance", Quartz: "One of this years Booker Prize nominees is just a 1,000-page-long sentence" 26 July, 2019, "For Passover, wacky Haggadahs feature zombies, Mrs. Maisel, President Trump, more", "This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published", "Review: This Book Is The Longest Sentence Ever Written And Then Published by Dave Cowen", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Longest_English_sentence&oldid=1139572984, This page was last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26. I am here to bring AWARNESS to your moosey soul! Such proofs often use computational proof methods and may be considered non-surveyable . And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazyer. My dadwas on this site. Ya know ya got ya ya girl ya ya know ya ya boy you got caught with them and then ya got a robot in the car with a car in your head that was the best dog ever and you can call me and call him when I wanna is it time I get off work I will see if I gotta I wanna is a time I got a ride truck truck ride and iiiuuyr. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. I gotta go. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. Shame on you! It's just weird. You could be floating out in empty space, conjuring nice little fantasies to relieve the monotony of being the only living being! There have been several claims for the longest sentence in the English language revolving around the longest printed sentence. "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Or possibly rightthat would be scary. It was fun, but exhausting. I feel inspired and happy and other really good emotions and stuff. Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. Every fantasy the human mind has concieved exist at some place in the universe. And I feel weird! Either way, I'm here. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. But you'd never prove it was infinite. I see. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. Add comment. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! Wheather you're saved or doomed, find out now! Hey, I'm once again: back. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. GeeI wish I'd thought of that sooner. Is that too much to ask? I've done what I've set out to accomplish. GeeI sure hope it wasn't poisonous. You complete me in all ways. The little counter at the bottom keeps going up? And, are monkeys spelled monkies? Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! I have an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new domain name! Needless to say, we ignored her. why must everyone always rhyme, why Im a poet and dont I know it? So, predictably, here I am. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. Okay. I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. *gagged reader glares* What's that? Good. NowI bet you're wondering why I don't just wake up a few minutes before I have to go. I want an elective. So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. Not that my mother is annoyingjust set in her ways. I's can get to my site again! Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning . I'm back! HA! The single greatest invention of the computer gods. )And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. I'm back. What has the world come to? Soair pressure can be a good thing. But, believe me, it's MUCH more practical than the alternative. Once we are on our Lunar Landing Site, we will engage in many exciting activites, primarily related to suffucating and starving. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. I rule theer*random Loyal Minion whispers in ear* That's right! With a shake, the future is revealed! Who am I kidding. The distance between the two extremes of how much I could have won is 1000np, making me feel like I've won much more than if I'd played a normal game. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! Or You are What you Eat. Let's keep in touch. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. Get the best cultural and educational resources delivered to your inbox. As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. A lot has happened. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. *smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Obviously not. You CANNOT DENY it! **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! I pity them, I really do. I'm back! As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. I few months ago I saw a movie about that. Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Thou shalt not eat spuds. They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. > You have blue hari..*gigles* I like hair. I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religionalong with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. Make your wife happy by sending her any of these romantic long paragraphs here. It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. Oh, guess what? You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! You seewhen it's hot, you want something cold to eat. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it notetc, etc.
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