Funny cop retirement quotes. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. 26. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. . ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Show me a sample retirement speech! Your tireless work ethic and - Gail Sheehy. Because it runs through your jeans. He had them stumped. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Junior Seau. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. quotesgram.com. A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. 13. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. Happy Retirement! the People of the City of New York. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. I believe in financial retirement. Whos the most famous lawn detective? There was no other cop on the beat. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! Enjoy.". The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez 53. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Why did the police arrest the star? However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." We help. I'm Retired. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. So increasingly will be peace. 43. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." We tell 'em to get a life." Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. All the best! For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. Police retirement is something special. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? Share this quote on facebook send via mail. Congratulations. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Before cuffing the artist, he looked at the mural and said, Now that is bold.. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. I can see a few of you look puzzled. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 Everywhere I touch it hurts.". Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. W. Somerset Maugham, Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Not even a rumor. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. 15. "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. The purr-petrator. 21. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes You cant win until you do this. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". What did the police officer say to the hand? Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." I am graduating. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service "I'm not retiring. Some call it retirement. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Anonymous Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. J. When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. 57. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? 14. Before you spend, earn. I said, Scissors. One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. 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They aren't going to get rid of me that way." J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. Nothing happens by accident. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? comprehensive, reliable. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. - Unknown. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. All the best for an amazing retirement! Why did the police officer smell so bad? We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. All content, Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Keep in touch . Your email address will not be published. Leadership peace war world. You've obviously missed it. may Gods blessings be upon you We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Best wishes in all your future endeavors. professionalism has set the tone Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon picclick.com. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." Present This to You as a Symbol of We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. Happy retirement my dear friend. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. To the People of the State of New York. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. You cant win until you do this. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. done for this department over the years! It's all lazy days from now on! A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. I call it bliss. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Unemployed and Loving It. Tricera-cops. it has a blue light. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! "You will be alone. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. 12. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Police Retirement Quotes Funny. In appreciation for over 31 years To return Click Here. "That's great!" says the doctor. May you enjoy your retirement! I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. Also, congratulations, Boss! as you follow in His way, We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Some call it 'retirement.' If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. I asked a rookie what he would do if he had to arrest his mother. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Thats what he is here for. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." Search, discover and share your favorite Retirement GIFs. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. The job you waited for for 50 years! No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. 33. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Take us with you! Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. . Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? Here it is, she said. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. And who knows? police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. The cop asked to see her drivers license. 6. Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Cars are backed up for miles. are presented without warranty. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. With Great Honor and Recognition These words may help. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Sherriff, My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii. Julius Sharpe, Retirement: worlds longest coffee break. Unknown, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. to utter words, but to live by them. Because it was mugged.