WebFunny comebacks thatll leave everyone in splits The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Can I ask you a question? They want their (blank) back never loses. How do you think about the answers? Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. You lips keep moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah. Im sorry, I must have missed the part where your opinion mattered. Are any commas needed in this sentence: "When I was eight years old I broke my ankle and I had to have surgery." Thanks for this informative answer! And is adaptable to just about any jab thrown your way. Then use your Thinking Of Something To Say After An Argument Is Over Is The Worst Feeling. You can change your choices at any time by clicking on the 'Privacy dashboard' links on our sites and apps. But recently, as I was happily eating saba mackerel at Little Tokyos Hama Sushi, I remembered the story of the very picky penguins at the Hakone-en Aquarium outside Tokyo. You almost 14. whats a good comeback when someone says "i asked you first"? Her sharp humor fits right in with these witty bar jokes anyone can remember. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you is another great one to keep in your pocket when someone is being willfully ignorant. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. 99% Upvoted. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information, as a newly revitalized culinary destination, An almost vegan food crawl with Theo Rossi, Emily the Criminal star and hummus traditionalist, Chicken-flavored ice cream? Insult: I think you are beginning to show high levels of stupidity. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. OK, maybe a little harsh. And if this one doesnt do it for you, weve got plenty of pirate jokes on deck. 8. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? Still have questions? too bad I didn't read it.". WebAnswer (1 of 9): Guy: Did I ask? Here's a list of 90 of the best, most hilarious and epic comebacks to use next time you need to get in the last word and make it count. Well, the jerk store called and theyre running out of you. George Constanza of Seinfeld dropped this epic line. Tread carefully with this one, friends! Be ready. You'd laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. There are some annoying people who will ask who asked after you tell a story. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. 6. Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because you'll definitely need to drop it after. There's no universal comeback, because sometimes they're correct that some information you've offered is irrelevant to the conversation, or that they don't want to talk about a topic, period. And I know what you're going to say right after I finish sending this hammer of logic straight to your senses, you miserable little fucktwat, you're going to say "who tf asked?" Your face is fine but well have to put a bag over that personality. We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. You're fucking dead, kid. If he was any more inbred, hed be a sandwich. 22. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. "I don't know. This one might not be so universal, but whew, does Buzzfeed contributor hollisl4d528cac4 have one thatll stick in your mind. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. I thought I heard someone who actually knows what theyre talking about. Remember, words are powerful weapons, so use them wisely! And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its better for you to not use it. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. 5. Why is it so important to come up with good comebacks? If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. Reportedly while being held back by fellow cast mates, Murray fired off calling Chase a medium-talent. "Ladies first" is an old-fashioned courtesy. It is sexist, but as compared with female genital mutilation, it's comparatively harmless, and general But Ill keep trying. Take a page from Don Drapers book. I don't know. Ski Team camp at Copper Mountain a week before the X Games that he knew for sure. Readers had fun suggesting answers to the delicate question How old are you? Read on: DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lived to 103. Anne Circulo Yarn, From Reddit user VigorousRapscallion: I was playing a drinking game that involves rules being made on the fly. Comebacks for When Your Depression Says 'You Suck,' a white woman with blonde hair drawn in pop art style. I think you might be overestimating your importance here. 1. Watch popular content from the following creators: factz4youxx(@factz4youxx), combacks405(@combacks405), (@minofishh), (@_x.random..things.x), (@g1rlxtipx), znhzzz(@znhzzz), [swag](@x.eunoia.gracexx), - val -(@glossiervals), Random things Oh, a thought crossed your mind? This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. You could say "And?" Could you repeat it slower and louder? WebDiscover short videos related to i asked you first comebacks on TikTok. Powerful and Clever Insults and Comebacks You Simply Cannot Miss. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? There is the attention you were looking for. Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. You could be nice and simply say, "I don't have a strong view one way or the other." First of all, dogs cant ask dumb questions like that Dylan M (@dylanmicky_d) October 17, 2017. Now Saltie Girl has opened a branch in West Hollywood and Addison is happy as a tinned clam. Shut the fuck up and go back to the storm drain where your mother abandoned you. ", Then you just get flamed for having an outburst or a TL;DR. 33. Search for: Menu Close. What does "twin" mean in the phrase "the twin shocks of Vietnam and Watergate"? Being a d*ck wont make yours any bigger. Inflate your ego to overcompensate for it being so fragile? "I too asked you first from last!!" :D I am just writing some stuff because stupid Quora wants more explanation on this. Climb back in your mum and cook a little longer. I would remind them that I don't need anyone's permission to talk. I'd tell them to keep their conversations to themselves if they don't want to he Im sorry, I didnt realize you were an expert on the subject. Ouch. You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. 23. -just my opinion Say this: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions Top Ten Comebacks for Verbal Bullies Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright Ten comebacks for Toxic People. It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. You could even make a joke out of it by saying something like Touch! If you look for humor in your books, try some of the funniest reads of all time. Get your answers by asking now. 5. 7. I dont need anyones permission to post my opinion. I enjoy sharing it when the opportunity arises: Im the same age as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. I enjoy the look of puzzlement it creates. 62 comments. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. So next time someone comes at you with an insult, you can hit them with one of these savage comebacks in an argument and watch them squirm. RELATED:111 Ways To Say "F*ck You" While Keeping It Classy. comebacks: No, but you to much of a dumb fuck to know so i have to tell you comeback: We have to ask for opinions now? You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. In general, these funny comebacks provide you with answers to all bully questions. 10. She would say, Can you keep a secret? When the person would reply with Yes, I can, she would then say, So can I! That was usually the end of the conversation. Does this new robot-staffed chocolate emporium signal a themed restaurant comeback? I like to reply with: No, but you needed to know. If youre waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, cause its gonna be a really long time. Im describing you. Or, you could be vaguer and just tell them that they seem different. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Hoes. RELATED:These 6 Personality Types Always Need To Have The Last Word And Win Every Argument. Bullying should not be tolerated in the first place, but at least you now have some tools with which to defend yourself. Youre the reason why tubes of toothpaste have instructions on them. Savage comebacks are witty, cutting responses that can leave your tormentor speechless. This squid is so raw I can still hear it telling SpongeBob to fuck off. With that said, use these comeback ideas sparingly and only in situations where you feel comfortable doing so. 84. like you've reached the pinnacle of comedy. @2020 - All Right Reserved. It took me some time to learn it, but when I used it on a bully, it worked. "No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that I had the right to free speech and thus the right to state that opinion and the evidence I have even when no one fucking asked. You must be feeling really insecure today. If youre going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. We had a no swearing rule, and then an insult rule, which means they were G-rated insults. Web82. Its politically correct, its not angry, mean, condescending, confusing, long winded, weird, or ineffective. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Buddy, theres so much you really need to know that you never ask about. Here are some hall of fame insults heard by the people of, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was1975, How To Stop Stressing Over YourRelationships, 11 Gaslighting Phrases Used by Narcissists And Powerful Responses To Shut ThemDown, The Best Dating Sites and Apps: Complete List of the Top Online DatingPlatforms, 50+ Classic Rock Trivia Questions ForMusicians. Charred pork pho at Pho 87, a Chinatown staple since 1987. 34. The best comeback for "did I ask?" in Century City from the 1990s. Thanks for contacting us. Good job. Apparently, they have a vacancy in clownery they think youd be suited for. Knocks em dead every time. 23 Perfect Sassy Comebacks You Need In Your Life. That guy couldnt score in a brothel. When I first grew my hair out in high school, someone said to me: Did your barber die?, 41. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" Which means you're just as hard to remove. Composite Deck Railing Kits Home Depot, You continue to meet my expectations. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive met. Oops, my bad. Says the person who cant even spell their own name. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. First of all By Julia Pugachevsky. One option is to give a savage comeback. 46. When shes not writing articles about useful facts and pop culture, you can find Erin enjoying the local theater scene and working toward her goal of reading 50 books a year. I hope your fingers change into fishing hooks, and you get an itch in your balls. RELATED:27 Passive-Aggressive Quotes That Are Actually Pretty Inspiring. I love the line Lord Farquaad says to Shrek: Its rude enough being alive when no one wants you.. Im an acquired taste. Watch popular content from the following creators: factz4youxx(@factz4youxx), When the Indian coach was asked whether stand-in captain Ajinkya Rahane is a bowling captain, he went on to mention that he was hearing it for the first time. Add to library 7 Then you've landed in the right place! Before we get to the comeback tips: a word of caution Tip 1. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. That sounds like a you problem. This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. 47. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. This one is a little stealthy. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Im surprised you even know what that word means. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. So for her sake and your ancestors' sake and for my sake don't ever fucking again sarcastically ask "who tf asked". 41. What do you think? Being insulted is never fun. These comebacks are light enough that the person will still be speaking to you afterwards, yet give you peace of mind as you "judo" thei Article by I should have said - Verbal Self Defense Made Easy. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. Find out more about how we use your personal data in our privacy policy and cookie policy. Here is my list of comebacks, just so youre always prepared. 19. 'Modern Family' star Julie Bowen reveals teenage eating di Canadian teacher with size-Z prosthetic breasts placed on paid leave, What's next for Buster Murdaugh after dad's murder conviction, life sentence, US home prices just did something they haven't done since 2012, Celeb-loved jewelry brand Dorsey drops dazzling new styles, White Lotus actor jokes about being hit on following shows success, Is this the couple behind the Worst Art Job Listing Ever?, Undertaker transforms coffin into barbecue grill, Kellyanne Conway and George Conway to divorce. "Did god ask for you to live, no". 48. Read next: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] #1 If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be She graduated from Emerson College and spent part of her undergraduate career writing for the Boston Globe. You can still go to Tiki-Ti on Sunset Boulevard and Damons steakhouse in Glendale for a glimpse of the tiki era, but at the time, Bahookas was one of my favorite places to go with Jonathan, who had a collection of Hawaiian shirts that he wore like a uniform (before he switched to Brooks Brothers shirts and suspenders). I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce. You could be nice and simply say, "I don't have a strong view one way or the other." You don't remember who I am? You have your entire life to be a jerk. Im sorry, I didnt catch that. Throwing out unsolicited corrections or advice at people who don't want them isn't a great move, in general. I hope your day is just as pleasant as you are. 3. Because she didn't 'ask' for a disrespectful midgetwit to be the next in her family tree. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. An atom bomb you can just drop and walk away from. Im not answering you, Im telling you. Tell me, how did this comment effect you? 9. Or is it that you believe every opinion posted on the internet is required to have your permission? I've been in a lot of situations where I say something and someone says "did I ask" and I don't know how to respond. save. best. I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. This can be disarming to your attacker and it shows that their words cannot hurt you. Saltie Girl in West Hollywood has an extensive tinned seafood selection. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. Favorite Answer. Gr8AuntCarolyn. Whether its being called names, having your intelligence questioned, or being made fun of, insults can hurt. I think you owe it an apology. Here are some hall of fame insults heard by the people of Ask Reddit. You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. Then why are you all up in mygrill? This is from The Clique, a popular teen series by author Lisi Harrison. The key is to think quickly and to put a clever spin on the insult so that it works in your favor. First These 14 Comebacks Are Perfect To Use If Someone Is Ever An Asshole To You On Saturday, @HashtagRoundup asked people to share their snappiest comebacks, using the hashtag #SnappyComebacks. 49. One of New Zealands Prime ministers (I think it was in the 80s) once said that people who moved from New Zealand to Australia were raising the IQs in both countries. When Chevy Chase hosted SNL during season 2, he got into a fight with Bill Murray. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was to fart. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. This one is total warfareonly use if peace is not an option. Your a** must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Overview of all the good comebacks #1. Stephanie Breijo, with an assist from our newest addition to L.A. Times Food, reporter Cindy Carcamo, examine the effect that skyrocketing gas bills are having on restaurants leading some to wonder if they will need to shut down if the rates continue. Hi Tatiana, I'm really glad that this helped you. 39. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Relevance. 42. 4. Im not just worried about us. Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. Good Comebacks 1. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. authenticate users, apply security measures, and prevent spam and abuse, and, display personalised ads and content based on interest profiles, measure the effectiveness of personalised ads and content, and, develop and improve our products and services. Some of the funny answers to the tough first date questions below will assist you in being less tongue tied.. Help us out by voting for what you think its the best comeback to the dating and hook up questions below. While some comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit to come up with an effective response on the spot. There is no definition as such for that but he is a very shrewd leader. Hey, I found your nose. 25. 13. Prior to this, she was part of a two-year Hearst fellowship program where she covered crime and education in suburban Connecticut. Become a subscriber. CLOSED "Food was good service was slow but it was also the first days they were open. You might enjoy: 27+ of the Best Comebacks for Shut Up. I'm sorry, did you not get the memo? It's states, and I quote 'ask in one hand and shit in the other which one you think you'll fully grasp first That must suck. Funny comebacks dont always fit into not-so-funny situations. I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked for your opinion. July 19, 2019, 3:55 PM. One of the, One day in middle school my friends and I were all coincidentally wearing either pink or yellow shirts. 42. A young couple enjoy a flaming honey bowl at Bahooka Ribs & Grog in Rosemead. Is your urge to reply didnt ask to things that never concerned you an egotistical thing? Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. Youd struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. You realise I could just say didnt ask back to your comment and it would actually carry way more weight because your comment was directed towards me, while mine was not directed towards you? "Here's another unsolicited fact: Most dumb people don't even know they're dumb.". When a big-time lawyer rolls up on Erin Brockovich and blatantly challenges Brockovichs knowledge and abilities, Julia Roberts character is quick to set her straight. Best Comebacks Ever Funny Insults And Comebacks Snappy Comebacks Clever Comebacks Funny Comebacks Savage Comebacks Comebacks Sassy Sassy Quotes Sarcastic Quotes. I often eat lunch in my car, seated in the passenger seat. RITA W. IN NORTH CAROLINA, DEAR ABBY: Something I heard in a TV commercial would be a perfect response to what Ageless considers a rude question: Age is just a number. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. Keep in mind to not use these against someone who cant take a joke. But if that isnt possible, then it can help to have a few intelligent and calm responses pre-prepared. 37. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. 20. Thank you for your reply. Its so small. 196.Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents. 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) By Mlanie Berliet , February 22nd 2016 41. I ask because Im worried about how full of sh*t you are. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. You are the load your mom should have swallowed. I asked the pregnant army what some of their best pregnancy comebacks were to rude questions and they did not disappoint. "-1,348. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. She would say to anyone inquiring, Ill excuse you for asking, if youll excuse me for not answering. JANE M. IN FLORIDA. Did you just think of it, or have you been saving it? Ill never forget the first time we met. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Before answering that question, he looks back at Southern Californias theme restaurant past, from the questionable Jail Cafe in which diners in the 1920s ate in a cell and ordered from waiters dressed as convicts to Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenbergs DIVE! Anyone agree? Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. For example, when the other person chooses a restaurant you might not have wanted to go to, you really should go with his or her choice. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business! DAVID S. IN GEORGIA. First, theyll likely ask why youre wondering. Here, I gift you this plant to carry around with you. I see youre still stuck in middle school. 3. 26. Yelp users havent asked any questions yet about First Watch. Why not take today off? Maybe follow it up with one of these funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work. One of the funniest one-liners on the Internet, if you ask me. This must be starting signs of old age. These good comebacks, from funny comebacks to sick burns, will help you win any argument. We, Yahoo, are part of the Yahoo family of brands. Aug 7, 2013 - Here is a top ten list of snappy comebacks that you can use in most situations, from surviving a family dinner with your annoying relatives to pushing back on your obnoxious coworker. What is a good comeback for "Did I ask"? The (fill in the blank) called. 15+ Flirty Responses to You look like trouble!. Heres a clip of the mackerel being cooked to the sounds of the shows unforgettable theme song to whet your appetite. They are trying to deflect the question back into your court so they wont have to commit themselves one way or another or tip their hand. I had a Your mouth must taste like shit all the Im not insulting you. If you would like to customise your choices, click 'Manage privacy settings'. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Laurie Ochoa is general manager of Food at the Los Angeles Times. I often share my opinions, and people say, Did I ask?. Your support helps us deliver the news that matters most. 41. Enjoying this newsletter? You gain or lose absolutely nothing by reading my comment, except for a bit of time. Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? You're fucking dead, kiddo.. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. Wait, you as in the person, or u as in the alphabet? But before you go hurling insults, remember that words can hurt, and think about the potential consequences of your actions. 2. If you need to go full stealth-mode, here are 16 compliments you dont realize are actually pretty insulting. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. 43. 6 Answers. Is it because you are constantly made fun of and entirely alone in real life, and you need to go onto the internet to grasp at ways to make yourself feel in control and superior? Dont worry about me. 45. Parenting is full of humor, as these stories can attest! How To Take Care Of Your Digestive System, Everything you need to know about Super Bowls and the Super Bowl LVII. Thanks for your input. In life you will notice that a lot of people will talk a lot of crap to you. Have you ever experienced a loss of words when someone says something? But here's hoping. The dream of theme restaurants and L.A.s tiki bar era. Comeback: You show have held your thought forever. Funny Comebacks When Asked about Money. This thread is archived. We've received your submission. 200. And thats something to be proud of. I would call you a fucking clown but clowns are either funny or scary and you're neither and you'll never be either in the eyes of anyone. Given the frequency of mock-sorrys in verbal squabbles, dont be sorry for who you are is definitely one to keep in your pocket. Think again, fucker. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to put that jerk in his place.