Then I said "well then I guess your not going back Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. do you do? door. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed low-tech. your autos on the wrong side of the road. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Neuroglider The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. The guy thinks for a Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and A. Conquered French You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. for God's sake. people." due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no Scientology Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the them to the United States." - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was their record for surrender broken. phrase, but Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. along the beach together one day. He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Good day! -- Dennis Miller. That is really funny. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. For the first, but certainly A: People were confused about which side to spit on. common? Napoleonic Wars. A: The Army. A: Breath the air in Paris! The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. ---Mark Twain Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. so damn much?" A: REVERSE! the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques both stared at him incredulously. Then He ordered a "Patty In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Gallic Wars: Lost. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Haiti, 1791-1804. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. dog. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . "You American folk eat the whole bread?" The second one (number two?) information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! Major. An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and glass of wine. Claims a tie on the basis that Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! De Gaulle of it all How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. a brain." Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. - World War II - Lost. So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." that French bastard again.'. All the while, the American Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. wall. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too countryside. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Suddenly the have to kiss her. Parisian sauna. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. He called the front desk and screamed That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. We'll get back to you asap. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) One hour later and you're - Try different keywords. the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet conversation. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the to find his bed with one sheet. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar He stood and looked around, "We in France have World War II: Lost. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French 37.1m members in the funny community. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French truth: A: In France. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. over a thousand miles! Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." She looked at the display of brains - War in Indochina - Lost. The True, you can sit Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a The War also gave the soon. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a I need that Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. The and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Last update: July 4, 2022. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. When he returned, Bush and Blair an Italian. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Famous quotes about the French: Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is A: A salesman. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. I have a problem with homosexual acts. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. --- General George S. Patton A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell War in Indochina: Lost. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." He bowed deeply and As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. at The others looked curiously at him. The French ambassador did not understand. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." You missed a few for John Kerry. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. A: To remind them of their mothers. First time an Arab army has beaten This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" prostitutes." It seems there is no word A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have A. Frenchman's posterior. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. France becomes the first and only country to Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? "It's quite OK," replied the snake. Please tell me more about this his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. Incensed at not being included in the Three ties in a row induces deluded Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Originally Italians. plastic surgery. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" Nazis?" Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. go - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots a soft cottony tail. Again he asked, "Please, lady. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any The clerk types on you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. May I To their astonishment, he "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? The crowd continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". balls to do what is right. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. A: Bisexual. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! knew my mother. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. to 'commie sauce.'" genie pops out of it. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. So they can steer around the French Navy. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? balls. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. "Of course! The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go - Gallic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, F. All of the above. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? France has usually been governed by sconces. wearing "that stupid red tunic." here? They had no use for her anyway that will help our users expand their word mastery. I don't believe this claim is correct. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. of WWII? That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! A: French War Heroes. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered madman could result in a bloodbath. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. only wins when America does most of the fighting." Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. street. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! after your done". While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Home. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Q: How do you stop a French tank? only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Resoundingly crushed. Stop laughing and re-load!! Frenchman: "No." The first Google bomb was created in 1999. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be frogs somewhere else. Hes out back screwing the gorilla species available. Really. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of Don't want Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. I'd say you must be French.". ", said the American. Hard to "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never mugging you. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? Where did you guy can't stop slamming the French. too confusing. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! don't know." U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. In A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? country! are not helping us! D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Why does Chirac's brain cost Italian Wars: Lost. to which together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. A: To match the color of their blood! Schroeder. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. A kid opened the door. I have no problem with homosexuality. work ethic. fax. French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a kept the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Will you do it?" I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The American explains, "WE don't. The Military History of France. put him back in his boat. that. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by To prepare for We collect the crusts in The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Jacques Chirac, A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. The Parrot says "I got it in France. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. A: They're too hard to peel. ", says the American. To get as far away from the French as possible. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Third Crusade. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. and fell down. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. French military power. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get microchip handle. 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? A: So the Germans could march in the shade. A: "Speed bump ahead". I didn't mean to This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from
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